Mother Nature in Utah, however, has a weather and season pattern all her own. I have heard everything from: “You can’t have all four seasons in one day! — Utah: Hold my beer and watch this!” Except in Utah, it’s, “hold my Fry Sauce.”
Which Is Totally A Utah Thing! Up until recently, you couldn’t find anything even approximating the perfect complement to fries in any other state, now a Ketchup maker has decided to finally market it as Mayochup. What in the actual hell kind of name is Mayochup?
I mean, Utahanian's totally created this condiment and have coined and accepted the term “Fry-Sauce” so we should at least get a say in its name. Who wants to buy a product named Mayochup? They can’t even come up with a single spelling of Ketchup — Catsup and some are fancy and some are not, but they all taste the same.
It’s like when someone decided to market those awful gagging Rice Krispy Treats made from marshmallow and Rice Krispies. Everyone has made these for their families and all of a sudden in stores, ‘Bam!’ the exact same gag reflex inducing creation.
I know, I have heard it from everyone on the planet how delicious they are and how I am the only person in the world that can’t stomach them, but I stand firm in my assessment.
The thing is, each component by itself I’m ok with. Rice Krispies make a mighty fine breakfast cereal and Marshmallow, well actually, that’s the problem. Marshmallow isn’t even a real substance. Really, what the hell is Marshmallow? It’s a solid, no, a liquid, no, it’s a gooey mess of a — well, except for peeps.
Now Peeps are the only marshmallow that should exist. I love Peeps; there is something about the combination of sugar and marshmallow that works. The problem lies in - you can buy Marshmallows any time of year but Peeps, only around Easter, which just isn’t fair.
What does Easter have to do with delicious chicken and bunny shaped marshmallow treats anyway? Easter is the holiday that marks the beginning of spring.
I love spring. I get all excited to plant new flowers and watch the changing of the season all around me, kind of like when you start a new job and you are so excited for the prospect of what’s to come, and at the same time scared that you may not like it and then you’re back to square one looking again.
Which I seem to always be doing; I swear if my head wasn’t attached to my body I would lose it. I am forever looking for something once I set it down. My glasses, cane or a tool that I was just using gets lost in the darkness once it leaves my grasp.
Recently I lost my wallet, a whole wallet. How does one misplace an entire wallet that is full of everything that is valuable? Well, I don’t really have anything of value and it’s not actually a wallet, it’s more of all my cards and I.D.s with a Velcro strap wrapped around it.
I use this method because I don’t like things in my pockets, so I usually put it where it's accessible when needed. This is also hypocritical because once I go somewhere, I place that Velcro wrapped conglomeration in my pocket so I can get to it when I need it.
Then the Velcro gets snagged on my pocket which annoys me even more. Okay, not like a huge strap per say, but like a wrap that you use to hold wires and cords together behind a computer stand or entertainment center to keep them all tidy.
Right? Who wants a bunch of unruly wires all willey-nilley behind an object that no one will ever see behind?
Like I was at a garden center the other day buying some new plants and shrubs for my yard and I pull out my wallet — using that term loosely, and my whole pocket comes out with it. I’m fighting to put it back, undo the Velcro from the pocket lint, all the while attempting to pay for the plants — that look awesome in my yard by the way. I love to dig in the dirt and plant new flowers in the spring.
I love spring, the smells of all the new growth and the clean air, the first time cutting the grass, building all the new flower boxes and gardens. Of course, it also means that I have 20 projects going all at once. I start cutting the grass and find something that inadvertently got left out over the winter; don’t you just hate that?
I swear I spent the whole fall cleaning up and preparing for the upcoming snowfall and right here in plain sight is something that I forgot. Of course, it would be so much easier if it just wouldn’t snow.
I think everyone has heard my rants about snow and how much I hate it. There really isn’t a need for it except in the mountains; I guess the mountains need it. I love going to the mountains especially when everything is turning green and the temperatures are warm enough to just enjoy all the scenery. Not to mention the Spring Turkey Hunt.
I love spring; it is the time to go on picnics and play at parks, which is why movies don’t ever premiere in the spring. People have way too many other things going on to go see a movie. Except for Marvel movies, they can premier anytime and people will go.
I mean, have you seen the trailer to Infinity War? “Like Holy Wow Man”, this is going to be an epic movie; not like they haven’t all been epic in their own way, but when you put them all together and bring together a cast like this, it is bound to be great.
I must admit when they first cast Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark I was so skeptical, but let’s face it, he really is Tony Stark, right? There isn’t a single person who could pull off that character better than Robert Downey Jr.
I guess I haven’t ever seen anyone else really try. Actually I probably never will actually “see” anyone else try to portray Tony Stark, but you know what I mean. I don’t even really see the flowers bloom or the greening of the grass in the spring, but I can hear the birds sing and smell the freshness in the air.
God, I love spring.
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