What’s a Lizzieism you may ask? Lizzieism, as defined by me: A short, pithy statement containing promises to seduce,
entertain and continuously surprise the listener.
My wife's grandmother had her own way of describing things and
expressing herself. As we listened we'd be thoroughly entertained for hours.
Grandma Lizzie lived to be 100 years old, (the picture was taken
on her 100th birthday,) and throughout those years her mind never failed her.
Her body eventually gave out, something we all have to look forward to, but her
mind was sharp as a tack and she never let us forget that.
She had a very direct and concise way of saying things that at
times, made for very interesting conversation. One afternoon we were talking
about a friend of hers who was suffering from Alzheimer’s. As a result, her description was, “Her body is still
strong but her brain tipped over.” I don’t know about you, but that
makes perfect sense to me. There isn’t a much better description of the process
of Alzheimer’s that I can think of, than a tipped over brain.
As the family reminisced, I realized that there are many things
that are said in everyday conversation that I have no idea where or why they
originated.
I'm not speaking about the simple everyday dialogue; I am
talking about phrases that in one way or another are said but if you stop and
listen, make no sense at all.
In the previous blog, I wrote about sticking one's tongue out and
blowing raspberries. Which for those of you who may not know what ‘blowing
raspberries’ is, it’s the “PPPTTTTTTHHHHH” sound that
your tongue makes when you stick it out, purse your lips down and blow across
it. — “PPPTTTTTTHHHHH” is the way I hear it, but you know what
I mean.
How is this action “blowing raspberries?” I have heard
it called that my entire life by my parents, but in what way is it related to
or associated with a raspberry? There are other sayings that I have heard
throughout my life that make semi-sense like, “You're full of balloon
juice.”
That’s easier, balloons are full of air and the position is,
you're full of ‘hot air’, which is in reference to a statement or
story that is unbelievable. There are hot air balloons, yet how does that
relate to the fact that what you're saying is somehow preposterous?
I am sure you have your own [family] sayings that are running
through your mind, and hopefully, I have opened a door to the bewilderment of ‘why
do we say that?’
Grandma Lizzie took this to a whole new level. She was a Ninja of
maxims that left you wondering and at times questioning your sense of the world
around you.
In fact, to this day I've never heard any other person outside the
family ever repeat these particular expressions. I don’t know if she made them
up and they stuck or if they were sayings of her time — after all, she was at
least twice as old as most of us.
I am hoping that at some point this opens up ideas of what your
parents or grandparents would say or do and you remember the people that they are and thereby
keeps your heritage alive as well.
My wife and I had just
started dating and Grandma Lizzie was 75 when I was introduced to her, but she
acted more like she was in her 40s. We would spend days helping her with yard
care, painting, and any other more strenuous work.
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. She drove up until the age
of 85 and then decided on her own to stop, ‘just
in case.’ In reality, she could have driven for several more years but that
was her reason, just in case.
When I say we would help her it was the things that were even
difficult for us, she was very independent up into her 90s. I was young and
could do anything — let's just go with this — so when she needed a new washer
and dryer we, of course, showed up to help move them.
I grabbed onto that washer and started to stand up with it to move
it outside — you don’t know, you weren't there — when I heard an authoritative
voice from behind me, “You put that down and wait for help, you're
going to strain your runnit!”
I set that washer right back down. Not because I was worried
about the wrath of Lizzie — which is a real thing, but the fact that I was
laughing and trying to figure out exactly where or what my “runnit” is?
Now when you think about it “Strain your runnit” does
make some sense. I could have pulled a muscle or tweaked something trying to
move that washer by myself but I don’t think I have ever strained my runnit and
I hope I never do, whatever it may be.
There were many occasions that I would attempt to do something
that she disapproved of in one way or another and I would undoubtedly
hear, “I’ll thump your bucket!” Again, not sure exactly what my bucket is, I do have a few
ideas; whichever way, I'm pretty sure I didn’t want it thumped.
Out of the many Lizzieisms that we heard, the one that stands out
the most in the majority of the family is:
“Moses in the cellar with his shirt undone!”
Now, this was always said with great authority and zest. This
wasn’t a casual saying or a threat; this was when you needed to know that she
was upset.
This was, to her, the highest curse or swear she could muster. I
never heard her swear or curse, ever, with this exception and since I don’t
know what it means, it’s a swear.
We have for years tried to understand what this meant. She would
get so frustrated and you’d hear “Moses in the cellar with his shirt
undone! I grabbed the wrong tomatoes.”
This is the ultimate of all sayings, adages or aphorisms. What
exactly does this mean? Why is Moses in the cellar? And what does his shirt
have to do with it?
All of these questions were asked of her many times, with nothing
more than a slight raise of her shoulders, a twinkle in her eye, a crinkle in
her nose and a slight “EH.” To this day it is still discussed
and I'm pretty sure we will never know.
Maybe, she took that saying
and its origin to her grave as a last act of remembrance.
Well played grandma, well played!
SP
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